The Howling II (1986)

As of recently watching The Howling 2: … Your Sister is a Werewolf (also known as The Howling 2: Stirba – Werewolf Bitch, according to IMDb) I am pretty sure I have now seen all six (!) of the original Howling movies, for better or (more likely) worse. Prior to finishing out the set, I would have been fairly confident that none of them could out-batshit Howling 3: The Marsupials, but I’m pretty sure Your Sister is a Werewolf just proved me wrong. Given the fact that it’s helmed by Philippe Mora, who was also responsible for Howling 3, it should come as no surprise that we’re in Best Worst Movie territory here.

The cast features a paycheck-collecting Sir Christopher Lee versus Sybil Danning as the queen of werewolves, with an attempted leading man turn by Reb Brown, better known to all of us as Big McLargehuge from Space Mutiny, displaying emotions that are constantly inappropriate for every scene that he’s in. Anytime your film’s subtitle is Your Sister is a Werewolf and the movie feels the need to repeat said subtitle half-a-dozen times in the first fifteen minutes, you know that you’re in good hands, and this is definitely the werewolf equivalent of Return to Salem’s Lot. Which is to say that it bears virtually no resemblance to its predecessor, is completely bonkers, and has a little bit of everything. Highlights include:

• Christopher Lee in New Wave sunglasses.
• A full-on, mid-transformation werewolf threesome.
• A werewolf-themed puppet show that the movie constantly cuts back to.
• A shirtless guy in a ridiculous helmet salvaged from the set of some low-budget Conan the Barbarian knock-off being killed by a dwarf with a flail.
• Lots of statues, carvings, ossuaries, etc.
• The one time the movie feels the need to let you know when something is happening…
• A massive BDSM werewolf orgy.
• Sybil Danning in action figure-ready dominatrix getup, complete with cape, sunglasses, and a ridiculous floppy demon staff that comes to life in the film’s climactic scenes!
• Loads of werewolves that more closely resemble Sasquatches.
• The obligatory nightclub scene that the movie also constantly cuts back to, featuring maybe a couple of songs that are recycled over and over again on the soundtrack.
• And a ridiculous montage of Sybil Danning ripping her top off (NSFW) that plays under the closing credits.